What a relief it was when I discover that I didn’t have a learning disability…but more that I simply didn’t like what I was being taught!!!

Being a person who’s always trying to serve the greater good, I’m always attempting to find worth in all things.  Trust me when I tell you my fellow thinkers that this isn’t the easiest task to take upon.  Especially when in comes to helping others get their ideas out.

To date, I’ve never had anyone tell me what they thought was their worst idea…and they’re seldom opened to the fact that their “good” idea just might suck.  Now of course I’m quite grateful because I would be forced to find another way to support myself if not for it.

Never one to complain without offering a solution, I leave you with this thought to ponder…many great ideas are not executed, and many great executioners are without great ideas.  One without the other is worthless!

I found this excerpt from Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome quite fascinating…

“How good one feels when one is full – how satisfied with ourselves and with the world!  People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained. One feels so forgiving and generous after a substantial and well-digested meal – so noble-minded, so kindly-hearted.”

Uhmm….I’ve decided to do all my future business deals over meals…LOL!!!

I’m honored that I have once again been given the opportunity to share my thoughts on The Huffington Post.

With your help, I can become a regular blogger on the most respected and progressive blog sites in the world, where people are truly encouraged to express their point of view.

Check it out and be sure to leave a comment of your thoughts…http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sakiya-sandifer/believe-that-you-can-do-a_b_254211.html

Unfortunately, most of the people that I speak with don’t quite understand the power of the words that they choose.  I say this  because everything that’s said is an affirmation…not some of the things…BUT EVERYTHING!

I’ve never met a successful person who wasn’t very in tune with the power of words. This is because they all know that it’s the truest indicator of how someone thinks…and no one can ever do more than they can think.

Understand this my fellow thinkers, the words that you choose to express your thoughts are the same words that will create the choices that you’ll have in your life. Simply put, your language is and always will be the limitation of your world.

THINK ABOUT IT!!!

If a police officer responds to a burglary call, finds someone with a driver’s license AS  WELL AS a work ID with the same address of where they are currently standing, and then the said found person ends up getting arrested for being for being overly agitated…then I’m in total agreement with Obama with this one!!!

This totally reminds me of the Dave Chappelle skit from Killing Them Softly.

My fellow thinkers…share thoughts on the solution!!!

(more…)

The process of becoming better begins with an open mind to change…simply because it’s impossible for anything to become better while remaining the same.

And although your mind is open to something new, it’s important that you never lose your sense of self in the process.

It is your sole responsibility to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

TONIGHT’S TOPIC: Civic responsibility…are there more pros or cons for not getting involved? Tonight’s guest, Carmelo G. Garcia, Director of Hoboken Housing Authority, says he has the answer.

Tune in and share your thoughts and experiences!!!

This thought came to me while in the city last Friday.  I had a meeting at a hotel in Soho that normally has a doorman.  For whatever reason there wasn’t one when I arrived. Not that opening a door for myself is a big deal, it’s just when my expectations aren’t met, my mind tends to wonder.

I began thinking about all of the doors of opportunity that have been opened for me in the past and how I’m doing the same for others now.  The thought that stood out to me the most was regardless of who opens a door for you, it will mean nothing if you don’t choose to walk through it yourself.

Unfortunately I’ve seen too many people on my journey who haven’t understood that it is their sole responsibility to make that choice.  Often they looked for someone else to carry them over the threshold like the husband is to do for his new bride…and I’m not sure if that still really happens except for in the movies…LOL!!!

I know this might sounds really simple, but like most things in life…it is!  So I urge you…don’t become a master of  making the simple complicated.

I’ve learned that most people who have achieved success solved problems as they came to them.  They either figured them out for themselves, or was helped along the way through powers that were known and unknown to them. Regardless of the obstacles they met, they kept going.

You don’t need to know all your answers in advance to solve a problem or to reach your goal.  But you must have a clear idea of the problem or the goal you want to reach in advance.

Don’t procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.  A key factor is to know where you’re going.  You will be amazed how the answers will seem to magically appear!!!

I’m always amazed with the thoughts and questions that come to me when I spend time alone…and yesterday was no exception.

It’s ironic that my dominant thought was asking myself what is my most dominant thought, how does it define me and why?

It’s perfectly clear to me that I defined myself mostly by the role of father first, career second, and friend/relative third.  I still haven’t figured out the why yet…but I’m sure the answers will come.

How about yourself???

Since the release of Beyonce’s song “Ego” (which I liked from the first listen), I’ve noticed that a lot of people are embracing having a big ego.  I take no issue with this because I understand that there are a lot of people who have never had a strong sense of their ego and this gives them justification in doing so.

Although there only might be a thin line of difference, there is a huge difference in having a “big ego” and being “ego driven”.

One difference that I find in the two is a “big ego” starts and ends with itself , while being “ego driven” is when you have a strong sense of self.

Of course I think that I’m the latter and here’s why…as much as I feel like I’m all that, I know that I’m not all there is!

I really think when you’re really ego driven, it allows you to be really open to other people egos.  I’m never threaten by someone else’s strong ego because I will never allow it to take from mine.

Like I wrote in my first book, “Everyday is an opportunity to become better…take advantage!”  My ego demands of me to live by this!  And it’s not because it’s overinflated, but more because it’s never satisfied with what it has done…all due to being super focused on what it can do!

Another difference between a “big ego” and being “ego driven” is this…a “big ego” requires praise…being “ego driven” requires only recognition…THINK ABOUT IT!!!

Getting what you really want in life is greatly dependent on how often you tell people what you really want in life…so with that said, let’s use this posting to put out in the universe what we really want in life!!!

I’ll go first…I want to…uhmm, correction…I WILL talk to at least 1000 people in person over the course of 10 days in July 09 in efforts of promoting the Thank You And You’re Welcome book!!!

As I mentioned in the previous post, my mom introduced me to Kahlil Gibran very early in my life.  As far back as I can remember, she always had his book, The Prophet, lying around the house and even named one of my brothers after him.

After I read his quote, it was a no brainer for me to post it.  As I was going through my routine of selecting a picture, my thoughts were flooded with childhood memories of my mom trying her best to get me to read his book.  I guess I was a non-reader back then as well because I never did…LOL!

Clearly it had an affect on me looking back on it now.  I really had a good laugh when I realized that I wasn’t being as original as I thought when it came to my idea of how to look in pictures.  I’m not sure what it means that his thoughts and image laid dormant in my sub-conscious for all these years, but I know it means something!!!

This is a great example of how much our past can have an impact on our present and why it’s so important that we always question why we do what we do.  Fortunately in this case it was something positive and endearing, but it could’ve just as easily been something negative that was the foundation of my thoughts and behavior.

Hey mom, although I never read his book, I hope it brings a smile to your heart to know that I’m now actually living it!!!

Wow…I can only think of a couple more better things to wake up to…LOL!!!

I am and will always be honored when my thoughts has left a situation better!!!

When you really think about it, all that really matters is the moment that  you’re in right now. And how you respond to this very moment will have the greatest impact on your moments to come.  (more…)

We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.  We should never use our right to be angry as justification to be cruel.  No matter how bad our heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for our grief.

There’s a big difference in OUR world and THE world…do you know the difference???

Thanks Brianna for sparking my mind by just being you!!!

I just did what I think is the most bogus radio interview possible.  There’s no need to disclose the station or on-air personalities because their buffoonery will get no shine here.

One aspect of fame/celebrity that I’m learning quickly is the reality of being treated as someone without feelings.  As I cut the interview short, I wondered how it would’ve gone if I hadn’t actually used the principle of “Never Justify Your Behavior With The Wrongs of Others”  from Thank You and You’re Welcome to keep me focused.

Trust me when I tell you that for a split second, my thoughts went from “Thanks for having me on your show to discuss our book”…to “Uhmm, what did you just freaking say…I will punch you in your fucking face!!!”…to “I WILL NOT LET THESE JERKS WIN!!!”

I’m not against interacting with people who disagree with me…hell, I actually encourage it because it’s a great way to learn and become better. But to have someone put so much effort to get an interview just to incite a negative response is senseless to me.  It’s definitely a great misuse of time, which I feel is the greatest asset in life.

There is nothing I can do to get those 5 minutes back, so the best thing to do at this point is to chalk it up as a growth moment of what not to do again.

A message to all who are interested in interviewing me in the future…please don’t waste time attempting to provoke a negative reaction from me…instead let’s have a healthy, productive exchange of ideas that are based on good-intentions!!!

Doing some random afternoon reading, I came across this great by fellow thinker Alfred North Whitehead…

Q. What is morality in any given time or place?

A. It is what the majority then and there happen to like, and immorality is what they dislike.

Now be sure to tread lightly with this one my fellow thinkers…because this is just the type of thinking that can surely flip one’s belief system upside down!!!

First let me start off by saying that I freaking hate having to apologize.  When in situations when an apology is necessary, I believe in doing it on spot and getting it over with. This is why I always try my best to leave my (big) ego out of situations and just serve the greater good.

However depending on the offense that’s done to me, an apology is a cool and nice gesture when done immediately, but it truly doesn’t make much of a difference as times passes on…regardless of how genuine it is.

Achieving milestones in life are great because they produce great moments of reflection.  I thank and appreciate everyone who reached out to say their congratulations, although I must admit there were times when I thought that some were more excited about it than me…and of course that made me reflect even more.

It made me think about when one of my mentors told me toalways distinguish the difference between a bridge and the destination.  Fortunately my journey has taught me that others will often mistake my bridges as my destination and it’s best not to get too caught up in their perspectives.

I feel compelled to share this lesson learned with the many others who have decided to live out their dreams.

As I found myself getting lost in the simple beauty of the form and function of an airplane wing, the following thought came crashing into my mind…I want my life to be like the wing of the plane!!!

Allow me explain… (more…)

Unfortunately, most people live lives of quiet desperation…it’s up to you not to be one of them!!!

One thing that I know for sure is when striving towards your goals, there is a thin line between being realistic and being straight up delusional.  This is when it’s extremely important that you be completely honest with yourself…with not only where you’re going, but where you currently are.

Unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of people get so lost in their goals that they miss out on opportunities that could’ve helped them.  Don’t allow yourself to get blinded by the brightness and allure of your dreams.  Now by all means once you made up your mind of what your going to do, go out and do it…but understand that there are many steps required to get there.  And not one step is more important than the other.  Until your goal is reached, consider each step as bridge to your destiny.

And PLEASE THINK carefully about your goals!  I find nothing more tragic than a goal that’s not well thought out.  The one that really bothers me the most is when someone is just trying to live out something seen on TV.  This is because I know that the final product of what’s shown on TV is not fairly balanced with reality and illusion…it’s mostly illusion.  And if you don’t understand that, it’s a good chance that you will become delusional.

A final thought to ponder…most people aren’t on TV because of who they are, it’s because of who they wanted to be…and usually it’s a BIG difference!!!

In “Thank You And You’re Welcome”, a couple of theories of how to obtain happiness was presented.  One of which was “2 keys 2 happiness”.  The first key is being able to tolerate things that make you unhappy.  The second key is being able to change things to make you happy.

I now present a third…being mentally loyal to oneself.  And that loyalty is defined by never confessing to believe in something that you don’t believe.  Having this discipline in your life will give you that extra boost needed during the down times…and trust me, there will be down times when chasing your dreams!!!

One of the many lessons that I’ve learned in life is totally accepting people for who they really are instead of trying to change them to fit my ideal.  Being a person who rarely focuses on what has been done, but more on what needs to be done, that was no easy task.

A lesson learned within the lesson is acceptance does not necessarily mean involvement.  When I say that I totally accept someone for who they are, it is often misunderstood to mean that it also includes an open invite into my life.  Of course this is absurd to me.  For example…when I accept you for being a horrible driver, I think it would be quite idiotic of me to then allow you to drive my car.

It seems that some people want it both ways…accept me being irresponsible, but treat me like I’m the most responsible.  When and where does that make sense?

Now here’s the kicker…how many of your friends agree with your answer???

Although I think everyone has the ability to be successful, I don’t think that everyone will be successful.  I say this in reference of the people who for some bizarre reason don’t do anything towards being successful.  Sure they talk a good game, but when asked what are the last three things done towards their goals…the answer is normally a re-astounding…nada nada nada…not a damn thing!!!

I believe in never letting anything stop you from doing…even when you don’t know what you’re doing.  So many growth moments awaits you on your journey to succeed.  I think it’s key to embrace your growth moments and be prepared to apply the lessons learned to your benefit at a moment’s notice.  Each step should/will reveal something that you would want to stop, start and continue doing in order to reach you goal. But it requires you to be like Nike and JUST DO IT! (Sidebar: One of my top ten slogans of all time!)

Remember this point my fellow thinkers…”Life is built for failure just as much as it is for success. The most important thing to realize is that life is based on a system of free will.”

…if you took the time to do enough thinking to formulate your own conclusions???

Do you regret more things that you did or didn’t do in life to this point?

Decide what you want out of life.  Then set your goals high.  For the world will turn aside and let you pass if you know where you are going.

The greatest mistake you can make is to be afraid of making one.  The earlier you make those mistakes the better.  Don’t be afraid to try.  The difference between greatness and mediocrity will be how often you try.  No one has ever possessed enough power, prestige, or knowledge to always win. It’s fundemental to life that  you’ll win some and you’ll lose some.

Turn your possibilities into reality by simply taking action.

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice…it’s not a thing to be waited for, it’s a thing to be achieved!

I’m often in debates about who’s number one.  Sad to say, they’re normally in very superficial topics such as sports, music or movies.  So I would like to up the ante with the following questions…

1. What person do you think has contributed the most to the betterment of society throughout history?

2. What person do you think has contributed the most to the betterment of your life?

3. What person do you think has benefited the most from your life?

NOTE: Be sure to give the reason why.

Most of us do things in the name of tradition without any thought of how it applies or affects us personally.  It should be clear by now that I see life through a philosophical lens, which  drives me to find the “why” to an action.  I think clearly understanding the “why” allows one to make a better decision.

Recently I came across a fascinating article about taboos.  Although it has some right of the gate “uhh…yuk” factors,  it does make you think about where you are morally.  Me personally, I love it when my belief system is tested because when you really think about it…how good can a belief  be that has never been tested?

With that said, take the taboo challenge if you dare… (more…)

Fellow thinker, Douglas Adams said, “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

Wow!  That quote really rings true to me!  It reminds me of a recent conversation with a good friend about how it’s senseless to try to satisfy the fools of the world.  Most fools tend to be never satisfied mainly because they don’t know any better.  A fool by definition means deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding.  I think attempting to satisfy a fool makes about as much sense as attempting to drain the ocean.

So the next time you get caught up trying to satisfy someone that you’ve defined as a fool, ask yourself, “uhmm…and the bigger fool is _________?”

I recently read this great quote by fellow thinker, Les Brown’s which says, “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” Powerful stuff right?  I say that because it caused me to think!!!

Now of course I believe there should be some limitations in life or there would be certain chaos. But for the most part, limitations as we know them are merely opinions.  Unfornutely these opinions are not often originated by us, but more accepted by us.  And the source usually comes to form that opinion because of one of two reasons…1) they can’t do it or 2) it’s a threat to them if you do.

So I ask you my fellow thinkers…who should limit you?  And more importantly, why?

Until now, I’ve have only shared my thoughts on the Chris Brown & Rihanna situation with close friends, but this weekend’s over the top sensationalism on the matter sparked a bigger thought for me….in today’s world, do we have a right to privacy?

It all kick off on Friday while watching of all things my beloved Oprah.   (more…)

It never ceases to amaze me where or when I get inspired thoughts. And this past weekend when my daughters and I decided to watch a series of movies was no expectations. One of our selections was “The Strangers”, mainly due to how the line “because you were home” was said in the preview.

I was also drawn into the story because it was said to based on some true accounts, so hence I foolishly watched looking for some realism…ughh…what a disappointment! About mid-point in the movie, my youngest noticed my “WTF” face!  Reason being because I felt this movie was beyond any realm of common sense!

As my daughters and I began discussing the movie, I found myself stressing common sense to them.  And that’s when the magical moment happen!  I was asked by my young beautiful minded daughters…”What is common sense?” And to top that question, I was then TOLD after what I thought was a pretty good explanation…”Just because it’s common to you, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s common to everybody else.  Come on Daddy, you know you’re this deep thinker and stuff!”

Great compliment…YES!  Do I think that they were just trying to quickly shut me up in order to watch another movie…POSSIBLY!!! But it did raise a very good point…what is common sense?  Has what’s commonly known changed with the world becoming somewhat smaller and moving at such a fast pace due to technology?

In order to get somewhat of an answer, I ask the following question…what are the top five things that are common sense to you? In order to get a good sense of how this applies to the world, be sure to include where you live.

I think not having a clear and precise idea that resonates with others is one of the main reasons why so many people fail in reaching their goals.

So the next time that you find yourself explaining your goals to someone (which should be all the time), and they respond with a comment like “I don’t get it”,…take it as a positive!  It’s the way of the universe telling you that you’re idea needs more work.

Why do I believe what I believe?

Is it more due to what I’ve been taught or what I’ve learned in my life?  This is a must know for anyone who really wants to define their own life…but how?

I’ve come up with one solution so far… (more…)

What good is an ideal that doesn’t have a practical application?

In these times of great uncertainties of what’s to come next, I’m unfortunately seeing a lot of people who are running for the hills out of a pure fear of failure.  Of course I think everything is defined by perspective…and with that being so, the current times are nothing to fear but more something to be exploited.   I remember this line from the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad’ by Robert Kiyosaki that pretty much sums it up…”Failure defeats losers, failure inspires winners”.

Doing some random middle of the night reading, I found this question by fellow thinker Adam Smith quite intriguing…”What can be added to the happiness of the man who is in health, who is out of debt, and has a clear conscience?” (more…)

My apologies for deleting some of your comments again. If anybody knows of a solution, please share!!!

Lately I’ve come across a lot of people who claim not to be doing what they want in life, hence one of the main reasons why I started doing my group sessions.  Although I don’t have a “one size fits all’ solution”, I do believe it starts with really knowing what you want out of life.

A recent conversation with one of my fellow thinkers brought me to the conclusion that (more…)

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. People who aren’t related to you can show more of a genuine support for you as well as your goals.  It might sound strange, but they will actually care for or even love you more.  Families aren’t biological!

This “The Thinker’s Thoughts” is inspired by a recent conversation with Kanye. With all the backlash that he’s receiving from just expressing his opinion, I thought this was a great time for me to throw my own into the mix.  This is not an attempt to come to his defense, but more me offering my perspective for consideration.  I fear the opposing side not having any competition.

First, what is the root cause for the backlash?  Is it over WHAT is being said or WHY is it being said?  It’s seems that his intent is often lost over the content.  I’m a firm believer in intent over content.  I know it’s the only thing that can truly define an action.  I find that the most accurate response to something begins with a clear understanding of why it was done.

For example, if someone was to suddenly push you to the ground, the best response is to ask…”why did you push me?”  Now I’m not saying that you have to be smiling from ear to ear when you ask, but that question should still be first.  Their answer should/will have the biggest impact on what’s the most appropriate thing for you to do next.

Scenario 1, they said their reason was to prevent you from getting hit by a bus.  Most likely your reaction would be to hug them while offering many thanks.

Scenario 2, they said their reason was some explanation that boiled down to them just hating on your outfit.  Never one to promote violence, yet I can understand why a quick kung fu chop to the neck region would be somewhat appropriate in this case.

Think about it…same push but different response.  That’s what I call the power of intent!!!

So after all that, what’s Kanye’s intent? I’m not qualified to say for certain, but I think it’s very similar to my own…to help others with original, ground-breaking, innovative artistic expressions while never losing a strong sense of self in the process.  One aspect of doing this is being bold enough to go beyond what’s accepted as “the norm”.  I’ve come to understand that being possibly misunderstood or even rejected at first is something that’s just part of this journey.

When the prime objective is the preservation of “the norm”, my thought process is generally at conflict.  One way that I cope is by not being too dependent upon, or too closely involved with what’s considered “the norm”.  And I don’t think this makes me any better or worse than anyone…it just makes me, ME!  Unfortunately the masses are conditioned to initially reject individual expressions of self…regardless of the intent.

This is just my opinion.  And I know that the best thing about an opinion is everybody has a right to one…regardless of how wrong they are!!!

Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time wasted in disapproving of others.

When are you the most uncomfortable when trying to be you?

When are you the most relaxed to be you?