Either way, an apology is a weak and exploitative form of gesture. To acknowledge having made a mistake should always be a rational thought process. An apology consists of destroying your self-esteem (the bite you feel?) either through guilt and the need for immediate compensation by the person that might have been damaged or through fear of being rejected for your mistake. Either way, you exploit the victim on a whim by expecting them to forget/forgive that you made an error and betray yourself by not allowing yourself to stay conscious of the consequences of your errors.

The victim of your supposed error will take part in the ritual either out of the same fear of rejection or through indulging in commiseration for your guilt and possibly the joy that comes from the power that you grant them by destroying your self-esteem for them.

In the end, it doesn’t make you a better person to apologize. It makes you a slave of everybody who witnesses you make a mistake, of your own guilt and of your fear, which lets other people control you. If you do it against your will, you are controlled by one of these emotions.

It is morally superior not to apologize, because it gives other people the chance to judge you by what you are. And the corresponding feeling to that – to face the consequences of your actions – is courage. Also, there is no unspoken promise involved in the form of “I promise to change”. If you feel that you need to change because the consequences are either very severe or the decision that led to them was an honest mistake, you will become a better person much more than by apologizing and running away from the situation through forgiveness.

I am Luke, soon 46 old,
I am a teacher and teach sciences at university

best regards ,

Luke, ingenieur

I am Mark, soon 40 years old, I teach sports in high school

regards,

Mark, my little blog moto

How about a situation where someone grows up, and apologizes, even when their act or misdeed is lost in memory? Is that not to be respected?

Whether or not the apology is legit, to me, is the only consideration. Some people say sorry as a gut reaction, because they’re supposed to, not because they are SORRY

Either way, assholes should be forgiven for their fuckups, even before they apologize. Not for them, but for your own peace of mind. Holding a grudge against someone just takes up space in your head. And its a negative emotion.. those just fester, nothing good comes from them. Let them deal with their own negative emotions, which guaranteed will result from their wrongdoings.

Its much better to just avoid people who are not trustworthy.

Always forgive, never forget